BF is on the mend. He ate two sandwiches yesterday.
We might be going to Florida. I love his business trips. I, also, don’t give a shit about work. I told myself that this year i would be in the office as little as possible.
He came down with food poisoning last night, so instead of enjoying a Southern California weekend, we’re inside with the AC on. I’m playing domestic girlfriend nurse, and He’s playing the suffering invalid.
He did manage to eat something. Now He’s watching hockey.
Back from vacation with HIm. For His birthday.
Our mutual friend, who introduced us, is engaged.
Tomorrow, we’re going to have a talk…
I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions. But when I saw him lying there I just thought, “What a bastard!”
He’s out of town on business this weekend. Our apartment seems to big and empty. But I made this a Single Girl Weekend.
But I miss Him. Come home soon.
Not much to report. Things are…what they are. Here’s my love horoscope today.
You, more than most, understand the power of love to transform difficult relationships into miracles of heart-to-heart communication. The opportunity to transform one particular close relationship that may have been causing you a few problems will be handed to you on a plate today. It just takes courage to be honest, open, and vulnerable to make just such a change possible. Go ahead, dare to be…
Back to life. Back to reality.
What made me think that New York would be a relaxing, fun vacation? I’m dumb.
Vacation was okay. Sometimes vacations really just bring out the worst in you as a couple.
We had a horrible time checking into our hotel. The hotel gave away His luggage to another guest who was on her way to LaGaurdia. So ridiculous! the rest of the vacation was about Him asking me “What do we do next?” and generally not being relaxed and going with the flow. That’s the influence of the city on you, but also just Him being an impatient ass.
My BFF lives in NY and I wanted to visit. She’s the type that always runs late, so she was late to our karaoke appointment. I guess He wasn’t thrilled that I wanted to spend time with her at all because during the 3 hour karaoke session He just sat in a corner clearly bored out of His mind, playing on His tablet.
Look, if you don’t want to hang out with us, you’re free to do something us. Just don’t shit on our parade.
So, we all felt awkward because He was being Debbie Downer, but He didn’t want to go do His own thing. It’s so retarded. It was my only night with my BFF of a 5 day vacation, for goodness sake.
I was telling my friend at work about the whole ordeal. “He sounds like He’s co-dependant.”
Of course, we get home and He’s all lovey-dovey, but it’s like He’s the PMS-ing girl in the relationship sometimes.
He came home early from His date last night. Around 7:30. I still hadn’t left for the gym because I was on an emotional binge-eating episode.
I ate half a sandwich.
Me: You’re home early.
Him: I told you I wasn’t going to stay out late. It was a quick dinner.
Me: What did she want at Home Depot? A toilet?
Him: (shrug) We didn’t go. I think her new boyfriend took her.
So, that’s that.
New York next week!
Did he eventually talk to you about his plans?
Yes, He confessed over pizza. The FB girl doesn’t have a car (so dumb in L.A.) “and I think she used up all her favors with her other friends,” He said. So, I wished Him well on His “date”, and that I was getting my hair done and going to the gym.
I can’t waste time getting fat on pizza. I gotta start looking hot for me and my man - whoever that man might turn out to be.
This thing might very well be a friendship. I have guy friends like He has lady friends. Even now I’m planning to meet my masseuse friend on Wednesday.
We’re just friends afterall.
But the real issue at stake is intimacy and honesty. Both qualities build off each other and are vital to a growing relationship. In many way, after 2 years together, I still don’t feel a sense of intimacy that I think we should have. Like there’s some barrier keeping us from being honest, brutally honest, and it’s effecting our trust, my trust, in us.
The only time I felt that deep intimacy was with The Canadian. There was no fear. But that’s over and I want He and I to keep moving.