Are you gonna scratch?

He came home early from His date last night. Around 7:30. I still hadn’t left for the gym because I was on an emotional binge-eating episode.

I ate half a sandwich.

Me: You’re home early.
Him: I told you I wasn’t going to stay out late. It was a quick dinner.
Me: What did she want at Home Depot? A toilet?
Him: (shrug) We didn’t go. I think her new boyfriend took her. 

So, that’s that.

New York next week!

 Did he eventually talk to you about his plans?

Yes, He confessed over pizza. The FB girl doesn’t have a car (so dumb in L.A.) “and I think she used up all her favors with her other friends,” He said. So, I wished Him well on His “date”, and that I was getting my hair done and going to the gym.

I can’t waste time getting fat on pizza. I gotta start looking hot for me and my man - whoever that man might turn out to be.

This thing might very well be a friendship. I have guy friends like He has lady friends. Even now I’m planning to meet my masseuse friend on Wednesday.

We’re just friends afterall.

But the real issue at stake is intimacy and honesty. Both qualities build off each other and are vital to a growing relationship. In many way, after 2 years together, I still don’t feel a sense of intimacy that I think we should have. Like there’s some barrier keeping us from being honest, brutally honest, and it’s effecting our trust, my trust, in us. 

The only time I felt that deep intimacy was with The Canadian. There was no fear. But that’s over and I want He and I to keep moving. 

He has another date planned with Facebook girl. Thing is he hasn’t told me yet. I knew something was up when I saw Him email her. They’re going to “home depot” together and dinner on Monday.

Coincidence that I’m getting my hair done that evening?